Solving the Anger Issues! – Open Leader
There was a very unpleasant outburst of anger between Lee and Jake. Anger has a strange way of affecting widely, like it has a mind of its own.
We all know what anger is, and we’ve all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destruction, it can lead to problems – problems at work, in our personal relationships, and in the overall quality of our life. And it can make us feel as though we are at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. Let us tackle these issues head on in the very next staff meeting and put everything on the table, especially include Lee and Jake in this, without finger pointing.
Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage, like other emotions, it is accompanied by psychological and biological changes; when we get angry, our heart rate and blood pressure goes up, as do the levels of our energy hormones, adrenaline and noradrenaline.
The feud between Lee and Jake could be caused by both external and internal events. Eg: getting angry at a specific person ( such as a coworker or supervisor) or even (a traffic jam or cancelled flight), or our anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about our personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive feelings and behaviour, which allow us to fight and defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore is necessary to the teams’ survival, but let’s try to redirect it into a healthy outlet such as ‘Assertiveness’.
On the other hand, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our personal emotions can take us.
For the whole team of John, Trish, Tim, Jane, Tash, Lee, Jake and Steph let us once a week start up a meditation group class to ease stress levels and also further and bonding which may have been overlooked.
Unexpected anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behaviour (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticising, cynical comments haven’t learnt how to constructively express their feelings. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships.
The goal of anger management is to reduce both our emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger can cause. We can’t get rid of, or avoid the things or the people that enrage us, nor can we change them, but we can learn to control our reactions.
“Let it all hang out” is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt other. Research has found that “Letting it rip” with anger actually escalates aggression and does nothing to help you or the person you’re angry with to resolve the situation.
It’s best to find out what it is that triggers our anger, then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping us over the edge.
For the whole team the more we educate regarding anger the better things can be. Let us not be taken the wrong way by these team members. Each one of them may think that these anger manisfications are a personal attack and consequently take everything the wrong way. Alternatively let the team be informed of the wise true nature of these learning and that is to equip the team in handling others’ anger issues.
The last thing we want is for our team to become introverted and dwell on how they are feeling every minute of the day, but instead let them attune themselves into how others are feeling and how others should be rightfully feeling, ultimately to boost harmony, hence productivity.
Let’s be careful of words like “Never” or “Always” when talking about ourselves or others. “This !&*%%@ Photocopier Never Works!”, or “You’re alway forgetting things!” are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and there’s no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate those who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a brilliant solution.
Remind ourselves that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won’t make us feel better, only worse.
Logic defeats anger because anger (even when justified) can quickly become irrational. Use the cold hard logic on oneself. Remind oneself that the world is ‘not out to get us’, we’re just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time we feel anger getting the best of us and it’ll equip in getting more balanced perspective.
Some short fuse people use this use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but this doesn’t mean the hurt goes away.
What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take ourselves too seriously. Negativity is a serious emotion but this is often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can be handled with humour. Directly or indirectly.
If your daily travel through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give ourselves a task – learn or map out a direct route, one that’s less congested or more scenic. Find another alternative such as a bus or train or even jogging / cycling.
It’s true that angry people need to learn to become assertive rather than aggressive, but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don’t feel enough anger to start with.
These people are more passive than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn’t something that most angry people do. Still, these techniques can be useful to use in appropriate situations.
We can’t eliminate anger and it wouldn’t be a good idea if we could. In spite of all our efforts, things wills always happen that will cause us anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. We can’t change this, but we can change the way we let such events effect us all. Controlling our angry responses can keep them from making us even more unhappy in the long run.